Sometimes during birth, things don’t always go as planned. I think that it goes without saying that you need to be prepared for anything. Just because of the unknown, don’t let it keep you from having your birth, your way (as long as you and baby are okay, of course!)

I delivered my daughter in 2011, when I made my ob/gyn appointment to confirm the pregnancy i basically just picked a number at random. I didn’t form any type of relationship with my doctor and in fact, didn’t even meet her until several months into my pregnancy.  I was told I would need a c section for the classic reason “the baby is too big for your body” although when she arrived was only 7 pounds 11 ounces. Until the week before she was born i had planned to give birth naturally but my doctor managed to use scare tactics to talk me out of it. At 40 weeks on the dot I was forced into an unnecessary induction, laid on my back for almost 24 straight hours and pushed for 3 1/2 of them. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t drink, needless to say, I had no energy whatsoever. After the longest 3 1/2 hours of my life my daughter happy and healthy finally arrived into the world and all was right.

So naturally, because this doctor brought my baby into the world I should feel happy, thankful and appreciative and to a degree i do, however a healthy baby doesn’t mean that I don’t have birth regret. Had I not let someone take advantage of the fact I was a first time mom and had no clue what to expect or what I was doing perhaps alot would have been different. So it brings me to wonder, just because I have a healthy baby does that mean I don’t have the right to have these feelings? Well of course I can have these feelings, I am human being and it’s only natural. This exprience only led me to strive for a better one my next go around and now that it’s said and done, it was a success!

Honestly, until I became pregnant with my son less than 3 years later I hadn’t thought much about my first exprience and how wrong it really felt. I switched to the amazing midwife who delivered my son, at 24 weeks and I often wonder could I have experienced the same fate had I not have switched? One reason in particular that I loved her so much, right off the bat she told me she wouldn’t induce until after 41 weeks (if all was good) which let me know that we were on the same page. He was born naturally at 38 1/2 weeks and it was truely a rewarding exprience. I am so thankful my midwife worked with me to exprience an amazing birth, one that was done the way I had intended.

Lindsey

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